Riot Diet


***** Riot Diet

I wanna be much more less of me,
and tomorrow I’m gonna start to try.
I don’t wanna die a heavyweight,
and I’m not gonna tell you a lie.

I wanna stuff in more white bread,
but I’m not gonna give in to spread.
I wanna be much more less of me,
and I’m gonna start drinking tea.

I wanna be like those thin ones over there,
and I’m gonna be ready for high sacrifice.
I don’t wanna live like an ugly glutton, so
I’m gonna button down on the thin advice.

I wanna get back to my high school weight,
and I’m gonna be the perfect, shapely mate.
I don’t wanna carry these extra pounds, so
I’m not gonna be an excessive eating hound.

If I’m gonna be me for eternity and more,
then I don’t wanna cook for you at all.
Matter of fact, I’m gonna find a new loving you,
and I wanna do it even if it’s a major brawl.

I wanna, and I’m telling you very plain,
so don’t think I’m gonna sit around blue.
I wanna step away from all temptation,
and I’m gonna do it if I have to eat glue.

I wanna be as clear as these fabled lines.
I’m gonna learn a new fatless way to chew.
I wanna be thin by the time I’m twenty-one, so
I’m gonna have this diet done by eight. Whew!


Poem and Photos from the personal and copyrighted collection of Barbara Anne Helberg

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